Thanks for all your comments on last week's snippet. I'm sharing a work-in-progress. It's a romantic suspense about a woman who doesn't believe her brother's car crash was an accident. Suggestions are very welcome.
Today's snippet picks up right after last week's, which ended with She lowered the shovel, “Gee, I don’t know. Ya think maybe because I live here?”
Jack picked up the CD and case, “Are you sick? It’s Friday, and only—” he checked his watch, “—one o’clock, why aren’t you in school?”
Maggie gave him a long look—shadows rimmed his eyes, and his mouth had creases she hadn’t noticed the last time she saw him, three or four weeks ago—her neatnik brother never looked disheveled, yet there he was in wrinkled slacks, sport shirt nearly hanging out.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, “you look tired.”
Actually, he looked like his shoulders carried the weight of the world, as their mom used to say, “With Ben out, I had to take over his clients on top of my own.”
Jack’s partner in the accounting firm had a nasty confrontation with the pavement when his motorcycle went one way, and he went the other.
“How’s Ben doing?” she asked.
“He came into the office today, hobbling on crutches and trying to type with one hand, and you never said why you’re home in the middle of the afternoon.”
“School is out for the summer—” she returned the shovel to the rack “—and you never said why you’re sneaking into my garage?”
He gave her a cocky grin—the creases along his mouth and across his forehead eased, “Can’t I visit my kid sister?”